Shadow

Shadow

I don’t know when I learned
To live my life
Like a shadow on the wall
Disappearing with the light
A spectator in my own life
Following my body
And losing my mind
Two hands making the shape of a heart
Dark lines prying through the light
Too often, I feel dim and muted
I feel stretched and distorted
Like a 5 o’clock shadow
That stays through the night

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Nothing

Nothing

It’s not fair
To still be so confused
And lost

One day a body
With breath to breathe
The next day ashes
Waiting for the wind
To fly them away
To spread what’s left
Of a life once lived

Yet, there’s no closure here
And there are not enough words
Nothing to ease the pain of loss
The loss of something
That for a long time
Was nothing

And now remains nothing
But ashes lost to the wind
And a soul lost long before

And all of these thoughts
All of these somethings
Are forever lost
To the empty void of nothingness.

 

 

Rain in April

Rain in April

When it happens
It feels like this
Like a weight that I’ve been carrying
On my shoulders, alone
Has fallen through me
Making a hole in my very being
And this gaping hole becomes a void
Where this lonely pang of emptiness
Rings like church bells
In a small, quiet town
Putting another crack in my soul
Breaking my heart
Until I can’t feel anything
But the pressure in my head
As I try to hold in tears
Which always end up falling
Like rain in April
It feels like hopelessness personified
When your greatest wish
Is that you did not exist.

Bleed The Same

Bleed The Same

Did you know that from the stars

Looking down on where we are

The blue and green of a dying planet

You can’t see the differences

Of the people who live on it

While magnified as we are up close

As different specs with minds and souls

With hearts and bodies, we bleed the same

And that’s not something that race or gender

Who you love or your God can change

These Walls

These Walls

You are half of the walls
That make up me
Though those walls crumbled years ago
Torn down in a heap
I had to build something stronger
To save the structure
And then lock all the doors
And board every window

But you see
Your house was never a home
And it was destroyed long ago
And all the walls that make you
Kept on falling down
Tied together with the thinnest of ropes
To keep you on your feet

And now the wind is blowing
Threatening what remains
And I have no hammer
I have no nails
And there is no blueprint here
To save you.

The Wreckage

The Wreckage

I’m starting to feel lost again
but maybe I always have been
All my anchors keep on cracking
in a sea of discontent and restlessness

I’ve been drifting now for months
Too tired to really move at all
Cemented to these old wooden planks
waiting for someone to come

But am I just a shadow?
An old photo on the wall?
A memory that’s fading?
Did anyone ever know me at all?

And amid all the crashing waves
flooding every inch of me
Broken pieces turned to jagged shards
that are tearing at my seams

Little weapons deep within
chipping away at anything
That may be trying to survive
the wreckage of my heart and mind

But I am just a shadow
An old photo on the wall
A memory that’s fading
And I don’t think
I ever knew me at all.