Passion Pain

Passion Pain

take this riot in my mind

and quiet the voices

of anger and angst and pain

just enough to quell the rumination

but don’t put out the fires

that keep my heart beating

that keep me passionate enough

to care.

Advertisements

Keep Breathing

Keep Breathing

This is a place where I get a lot of my angst and pain out. The stuff I can’t say out loud, or that would only get jumbled if I tried to. So, when my posts tend to be darker, I want to be able to balance it out with light. I wrote this song with my former band, and we never finished it in production. So, here’s the rough draft. Because this subject is rough in every way. It’s not easy. I wrote the lyrics, first, with a melody in my head. My band came through with the music that matched what was in my head. I hope you enjoy. And I hope you keep breathing. #suicidepreventionday #suicidepreventionweek #suicidepreventionmonth #suicidepreventionalways #keepbreathing

 

Hello child
Are you feeling under the weather?
Do all the days
Seem to blur together?
No real difference
Between the whispers and screams
And every minute
Another page ripped out at the seams

Are you lost?
Oh no…

Well breathe in, child
Cos someday you’ll be grown
And sometimes along the way
It may hurt to fill your lungs

But don’t you stop
No, you’ve got to keep it up
Don’t stop now
No, don’t give up

Keep breathing in
And breathing out
Keep breathing in
And breathing out
Keep breathing in
And breathing out
Keep breathing in
And breathing out
Keep breathing in
And breathing out

Keep breathing
Keep breathing
It gets better when
You keep breathing

Keep breathing
Keep breathing
It gets better when
You keep breathing

Keep breathing
Keep breathing
Keep breathing
Oh…

Listen to Keep Breathing

The Little Things

The Little Things

Pain isn’t always caused
By deep cuts and big traumas
Sometimes it’s the small scratches
The little things
That over time begin to chip away
At your entire sense of self
That wear down your armor
One crack at a time
Breaking into you
So that all those small chips
They become the deep cut
All those little things
Become the big hurt
And all of that pain
That you’ve been trying so hard to keep out
To ignore or overcome
Destroys you from the inside out
Until there is nothing left
But the hollowness within you
Which allows the pain to echo endlessly
Stealing any moments that may lead
To your perseverance
Your preservation
And your happiness.

Not the Girl

Not the Girl

I’m not the girl stuck in your head
The one who was drunk on the night sky
And city lights
She was a costume I put on
To hide my face
To hide myself
She let go, she gave in
You can find her in pictures
But she’s long gone
And if you come for her
You’ll be disappointed
By the girl who was hiding behind the mask
Fragile, but never vulnerable
Buried by inhibition
And terrified by the thought
Of lingering in your memory.

Deep Down and Beneath

Deep Down and Beneath

Don’t tell me to trust the universe
When it’s given me no reason to trust it
The broken pieces in me
Simply are not ready
To break through all this red tape
That keeps me stuck right where I am
Just when I think I’ve got my head above the water
The cold, dark below begins to pull me back down
I can’t breathe here, in this place
This lonely, broken place
Where no one ever finds me
Yet, even if they did
Even if you pulled me out
My trust would remain
Deep down and beneath
All the other layers I wear
To protect myself
From everything

Failure Persisted

Failure Persisted

Is this where dreams go to die?
Weighed down by the never-ending journey through my mind?
Sucked in and out of newsfeeds and updates?
I know we only show what we want to
But I feel like last place on repeat
Like I’ve been on this constant losing streak
And nothing I do can break the cycle
I can’t do anything and so I feel like nothing
I feel like nothing and it makes me unable to do anything
I walked through wet cement and now I’m stuck
My feet planted firmly in my failures and mistakes
Taunted by all the fears that became reality
There is, seemingly, no comeback for this kid
My body is broken and my spirit is crushed
A trip through this mind is where dreams die
And I live that nightmare every time I open my eyes.